I am coming upon my 32nd birthday, Darren his 30th, my 14 year high school reunion, Darren and my 3rd wedding anniversary, my sisters almost a teenager, and all I can feel is that life is passing by so quickly! Things are going WAY TOO fast! But today, as I was planting an orange bell pepper in our new 30x26 ft garden, I slowed down.
I sat my butt down on the dirt (something I would normally not do) took my gloves off and dug a whole for the peppers roots. I dug my hands into the soft, dark earth to finish the perfect, cone hole and just stopped to think. I really am OK sitting here, putting this plant into the earth. I'm not watching TV, or on the computer. But I am perfectly entertained. Now I am not the biggest fan of manual labor but there was a certain feeling that I got, in the sun, hands and nails dirty, butt damp from the earth, legs splotched with random mud, rocks in my socks that were stuffed into crocks (I didn't mean to do that.)
So now this evening, half watching Frindge ( at which I just experienced the most freaky moment on tv) and having a glass of Havens 2005 Syrah, I realize that....I can't quite explain it. Isn't that silly? My first thought is as cheesy as it sounds, The Circle of Life.
We all have a life span. We are born, we age and mature, and then retire. At some point we feel really good about ourselves. We are at our best. We have so much to give. I think I am approaching upon that age (maybe not this year, but soon.) Where there is just utter enjoyment of our current state. And we exude that state. But this feeling is not exclusive to humans. I believe this happens with cheese and wine.
We are born from the earth. We are the seed, we sprout, and grow and age, we wither or are consumed, or we are made into something completely else. Cheese. Does cheese come from milk? Or does it come from the grass that the animals eat? Or does it come from the water that feeds the earth that feed the grass? Or does it come from the bodies of water that evaporate into the atmosphere that create rain? Where it begins I don't choose to debate. Too many questions lead to many more. But what I can talk about is the cycle we see, smell and taste.
Conception begins at milking, gestation in the vat, and birth in the molds. We rear our cheese in the cave and send them to college at cheese shops around the world. Cheese is now an adult when it enters our fridge. We expect the best and the brightest cheeses with their PHD, as soon as we slice and taste.
But that point, at which we feel utterly perfect, how wonderful we must feel. We are balanced. Not too harsh but give a little bite. Oh so smooth....we just relax. Because we ARE what we should be! And Cheese when it is what it should be, is devine ( I say this because I used utterly perfect before.)
I am still yearning to to be what I should be. But at least in the meantime I can enjoy the fruits of others harmonious labor. The hand-ladled Vacherin Mont D'or, well tempered, at prime, in winter months spooned out of its spruce incasing right into the mouth---no bread needed. Ha. Oh, yea! If not finished by Darren and I, the decline begins. Must....Finish...no...want... to....waste. Consumed. Done. No plastic wrapped coffin pushed way back in the too cold fridge for this bugger.
I started writing this post a year ago and have just return to it two paragraphs ago. Much has changed in our lives. I am now actually 32, Darren is 30, my sister IS a teenager (ug) and time is STILL moving so quickly. Our business is on a back burner but still simmering and we have a new raised bed Garden. But some things still stays the same. We touch, taste, and breath cheese everyday. We are still making an effort to visit cheesemakers (we have been to Harley Farms in Pescadero and are editing the entry now.) And wine is still a very important part of our lives as well but with a few modifications. I currently work at a restaurant where the aging of wine is at the forefront of the business. I have tasted many wines at different stages of their lives from infancy to over-the-hill.
Which leads me to this question.
When I hit MY peak, is it possible to cheat nature and just stay at apex?
Luscious...balanced...harmonic...perfect. Content
